"You gave your body to the lonely"

Meet me at the Seer's Tower when it rains. When you don't recognize your shoulder blades and your heart decides not to react on any pain.


My bed is the deepest grave and there I go to sleep alone. After all, letting go was the easy part.
Harder times are every second after it.

"Drive a faster car"

I once knew a man whom I thought could or would never hurt me.

Then he opened up my heart with his bare hands.
He said that he couldn't handle the fact that my heart was the brother of his heart, the other half long lost. He said that my whole passive existence in his life felt too intimate. Then he set my whole heart on fire, turned his back on me and walked away.



The thing he doesn't know about twins is that we all burn. And that is why he keeps having nightmares about drowning in the waters of unreachable silver, gold and salvation.

"Sometimes it hurts when you care about me"

Please, don't fall apart. Have patience. Be strong and give time, take your time. Do not hide, do not run away. Be present, today and tomorrow.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

"Strangers making the most of the dark"

It is almost humiliating how my sudden physical weakness has made me miss you and think of you this bad.

I hate myself for forcing myself to be cold and ignorant towards you, acting like I'm doing so much better without you when the truth is that not contacting you is eating me alive. I'm sorry if I've given you the impression that I couldn't care less about you or your well-being because I do. I absolutely do.

Not a single day has gone by that I hadn't thought of you or loved you or wished you all the best and happiness and success of this world, and every world I could in my powers to lay beneath your feet.

"Burning through my darkest night"

Please, someone, please please please help me to get out of this. I'm blinded by everything in my life, by my own joie de vivre and naivity, and I simply cannot recognize a demon coming my way. And he most certainly is here.


"The heaviest of burdens is simultaneously an image of life's most intense fulfillment."

Music today:
Pendulum
Thom Yorke
The Knife

"Like a boxer prepared before a fight"

Everything must get worse to become better, and the night is the darkest just before the dawn. I hope this is that moment.

Music today:
Requiem For A Dream soundtrack

"And life is wine"

A hop, skip and a week away.


Why do I feel like my whole life as I know it will draw its last breath right there? I still do have time, we still have time. But there are places and phases in life where they know nothing about clocks.

It's been hell of a ride but I've enjoyed every curve and bump of it.